This is a different kind of
blog today. I stumbled upon another blogger’s entry the other day and while I
normally just chalk those up to people having different opinions, which is a
good thing, I feel compelled to write a rebuttal. Not just because I have a
different opinion, but also because, from a dog behavior standpoint, there are
just many wrong, and possibly dangerous, statements in there. (I will provide
the original link in the reference section *a).
The author starts with the
disclaimer “First let me say this. I am an animal lover.” – Good, so am I. In
addition to being a Certified Professional Dog Trainer, inspiring Behaviorist
and a dog rescue volunteer for about 15 years.
The premise of her blog is
that “fur babies are just not a thing.” At this point we can still somewhat
agree. In my profession and working with a scientific background, I know that
anthropomorphizing is frowned upon when approaching behavior scientifically.
However, do we really need to get caught up on the word? I have met many people
who don’t have ANYbody. Maybe they had kids, but they are off living their
lives and never bring the grandkids. Maybe they got divorced and have
depression and don’t ever go out of the house. Maybe they are homeless and
shunned by the world. Their only companions – their pets. But for them it is
more than that. Until we invent a better term, why not let them call them “fur
babies”?
The real whopper that
inspired this rebuttal comes only 4 paragraphs in: “Dogs – the animal that
inspires the most intense faux parents – can switch homes and owners with relative
ease as long as they continue to be well loved and cared for. So enough of the
dramatic media show during public celebrity splits over who gets the dogs –
it’s absurd and minimizes the real trauma that happens when families split, and
children get caught in the middle.” While I agree with today’s media being
overly sensational, the rest of the statement couldn’t be further from the
truth. Dogs, as all our domestic pets, are sentient beings. Many countries like
New Zealand, Canada and France are light-years ahead of the US in acknowledging
it legally. But recently the Oregon Supreme Court also handed down a ruling in
that regard (*b). Re-homing a dog is a very traumatic event in that dog’s life.
The author even acknowledges that “animals will generally remain loyal no
matter what their owners say or do.”
So why then, do we think it’s ok to just re-home them? If you have ever
seen a dog being picked up from boarding, you will somewhat understand. They
were probably “happy” during their stay, played with other dogs. But the
eruption of joy when they see their owners again will tell you differently. The
truth is, dogs are very apt at survival and will hide their discomfort, but
experienced guardians will see the stress: loose stools, not eating well,
shedding, barking and high arousal in play. Every time you re-home a dog, you
change the behavior of that dog. While everything may seem ok on the outside, a
storm has started brewing inside and if you are lucky, nothing bad ever
happens. But if compounded by multiple re-homings, you may very well end up
with a dog that strikes at a person “with no warning” and all the behavior
protocols in the world can’t help and the dog has to be put down.
And that
doesn’t even cover separating “bonded pairs”. I blame today’s throwaway society
for the trend of re-homing. That – and attitudes like the above. You made a
commitment to take care of an animal until it’s last day. Don’t leave it behind
because you are moving, don’t throw it away, because you are pregnant. Would
you leave your child behind because there is no room in the car when you are
moving? Yes, I went there! (*c)
“The behavior needs and
expectations of animals are also mostly unchanging.” If that is your belief,
you should get a stuffed animal. Yes, you have to feed, water and walk your
dog. Maybe even play with him a little and some cuddling. But it is also why my
profession as a dog trainer exists. It is not just to teach your dog your basic
manners. People call me when there are behavior problems. And those problems
mostly develop, because of the above mentality. If you don’t realize that your
dog has other, ever evolving needs, than just eat, drink, poop, walk, sleep,
repeat, you WILL have problems later on. (*d)
“Having an animal under your
care is not the same as parenting a child.” – Tell that to the dog owners who
drop off their dogs with me for boarding. Oh wait, that is exactly your point.
Ok, let’s get more scientific. Dogs have the “mental ability approximating that
of humans between two and three years of age” (Stanley Coren *e). In my opinion
we have only begun to scratch the surface on what dogs are capable of and I
excitedly follow Brian Hare’s research at Duke University. (*f)
To me the phrase “simply a
pet owner” is just as insulting as me saying “you are just a parent.” It
devalues all the work that great pet owners do with their animals: training,
sports, hiking, meeting their emotional needs. The author describes how it
would be neglect to leave her toddler in a crate and have a neighbor come over
occasionally to walk him/her around the block. That is certainly true. But it
doesn’t automatically infer that it is ok to do that with a dog. While it is
true that you CAN do that to a dog, it doesn’t mean that you should leave your
12 week old puppy in crate for 8 -10 hours with only a potty break from a
neighbor. Just because animal control won’t issue a citation for that, doesn’t
mean that it is not damaging to that puppy. All it means is that our animal
protection laws are severely lacking. Forget for a moment that a puppy can’t
hold it’s bladder for that long and you are risking bladder infections, you can
potentially do behavioral damage that is very traumatic and difficult to
modify.
“Pet owners who call
themselves parents trivialize the very real, ever-changing lifetime commitment
that parenting is.” Well, I say: just because you are a parent that doesn’t
give you the right to trivialize the very real, ever-changing lifetime
commitment that pet-ownership is. I congratulate you on working “effing hard to
call [your]self a parent”, because you are right, not everybody can say that.
But I know a whole lot of pet owners who work really, really hard at being
great pet parents. And that is not very common either. And just because we are
calling them pet parents doesn’t take anything away from your status as the
parent of a human child. Maybe it just means, that we don’t have a word for it
yet. Since a sentient being can’t or shouldn’t be “owned”, “pet owners” is not
the right word anymore. “Pet guardians”? Maybe … But for some people that is
not strong enough to define the bond that exists with their furry companions,
especially if they have nobody else. So let them call themselves pet parents!
“15 things that are wildly
different about being a parent than being a pet owner” (I won’t re-type what
the author wrote, just because of the sheer volume. I’ll just write my rebuttal
and you can read the original by clicking on the link below).
1) Not sure what how a dog
ages has to do with them not being fur babies. But first of all, the 1/7 years
ratio is not correct (*g) and second of all, pet parents would argue that
having your dog with you for only 13-15 years is a lot harder than hopefully
seeing your child grow up and leaving this world before them. Most of us have
the opportunity of caring for 4 dogs in our lifetime (if you have them back to
back or slightly overlapping) and it is very hard to be the one left behind!
2) Ah leashes for kids – I’m
on the fence about it, too. But just because you CAN leave a dog tied to a pole
outside of a store or in your back or front yard, doesn’t mean you should do
it. Apart of the risk of your dog being stolen, you can create very serious
behavior problems. (*h)
3) A lot of people have
their kids’ basic needs taken cared of by caretakers who are paid for it. Yes,
it’s mostly rich people with nannies and you probably wouldn’t drop your kid
off somewhere, but a weak argument.
4) Keeping dogs in the yard
– see #2. (*i) Leaving dogs at home with
wee wee pads and food and water – already discussed. Ah – and the
boarding … yes, you wouldn’t drop your kid off at a place like that. But you
must be the only parent, who never dropped her kids off at grandma and
grandpa’s to have a weekend getaway with her husband.
5) Again – just because you
CAN place your dog on Facebook for re-homing, doesn’t mean you should. You are
actually proving my point that I already discussed in the beginning. Giving
your dog away because he doesn’t fit in your new apartment. Definitely frowned
upon and not the sign of a good pet parent.
6) Well, you won’t fix her
to avoid unwanted early grandmahood, but chances are you will – at the very
least - talk to her about condoms and possibly put her on the pill. Remember,
your dog has the cognitive ability of a 2-3 year old child. Would you talk to
your 2 year old about safe sex? As pet guardians we have to make some decisions
for our pets that WE think are best for them. This is one of them.
7) Not even sure what to say
to that. Your child already can fly with you in a seat. Why would you want to
put her in a bag under your seat? Many pet parents I know would happily pay for
a seat for their dog if that meant they could fly together.
8) Again with the: Just because
you CAN do something, doesn’t mean you should. There are breeders out there,
very good breeders. And they sell their dogs for a lot of money – to good pet
parents. Jo-schmo breeding their dog and selling them is definitely not a good
thing and the reason for very serious pet overpopulation and health and
behavioral issues in dogs.
9) While pets don’t need
clothes, there is a lot of stuff you need to buy when caring for your pet. Not
the least of it is veterinary care, which is not cheap. Oh, what’s that? You
have health insurance for your child?
10) Every interaction with
your dog is a training opportunity. (*k) A dog is a trial-and-error learner. If
they “get away” with something and it had a pay off, they are likely going to
do it again. That means that when you have a young puppy, especially, you need
to be on your toes ALL THE TIME. If you want a well-behaved adult dog that is.
If not, just let them run amok.
11) Not sure what that
comparison is all about. Maybe if she explained what she thinks hanging out at
the local dog park looks like.
12) Puberty – oh yeah, dogs
have that, too. It’s worse than puppyhood. Because now you have a dog that
doesn’t have that “cuteness factor” anymore and you went to puppy classes and
did everything right, and you thought you had your puppy trained. And then –
puberty!
13) It may not be $60000
that is putting the weight on your shoulders. But try this on for size: Your
dog was injured by another dog and you can help him recover and he will be good
as new, but it will cost you $5000. If you have the money – great, you probably
won’t hesitate. But what if you don’t? You have to tell the vet to euthanize
your loving companion and to add insult to injury you have to pay for that as
well.
14) Some people would argue
that if your dog has puppies you would be a “fur grandma”…. But for your
argument’s sake. Ok, you have me on this point. When my dog is gone, I won’t be
held accountable anymore. Only for the 13-15 years she is with me. And it’s
going to be hard to let her go. In time a new dog will – not replace her – but
fill a void, and she will hold me accountable.
15) Yeah – you got me on
that one, too. But again: imagine having to say goodbye to somebody you love
unconditionally every 15 years!
In the beginning the author
says “to make family that includes something ‘other’ [and] is super valuable
for kids growing up.” She hopes to be able to “offer [her] daughter that very
experience.” For the animal’s sake that enters her household I hope she looks
at some of the references at the end of my blog and will realize how misguided
her statements are. I hope that whatever animal enters her household will not
be left in the yard all day, or the crate with only a potty break, or re-homed
when they move or when another sibling comes along. And most of all I hope she
will realize that calling them “fur babies” takes nothing away from her as a
parent. From her hard work and commitment to her child. It just means that
there are people that feel the same for their furry companions and that the
vocabulary in our ever changing evolving world has not caught up yet.
Let’s let go of the anger
and animosity, embrace our differences and be willing to learn from each other!
Original Blog
References
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